A rhyming whine

(Watch this short video -- click here -- before reading my own true, equally ridiculous version.)

My First-World Problems

I haven't hit the gym in more than a week
I'm drowning in laundry from our trip to the beach

We got home to find my car battery was dead
For a day I had to drive Matt's Lexus instead

My engagement ring has a crooked prong
My mind can't turn off a certain Queen song

Our couch is so ugly it could pass for modern art
Our new house is so perfect that it kind of hurts my heart

Mom's Morning Out is over till the fall
Which means some days there's no me-time at all

The writers I am editing can't learn to use a hyphen
Does any word rhyme with that except "siphon"?

Our auto-start coffeepot lacks battery backup
So overnight storms can delay my first cup

There's a glare on the TV that we watch on the treadmill
I need a cut and color like a burger needs a grill

We can't park in the garage because it's full of excess stuff
None of our wine glasses seem big enough

I have to walk upstairs to talk on my cell phone
And I'm embarrassed to admit I could go on and on