Friday, August 22, 2008

Sad legacy

Mel and Thomas came over for dinner/long-overdue hangout time tonight and after they left the kids stayed to squeeze in one more sleepover before school starts. After they fell asleep got in bed, Matt left to have a couple of drinks with Scott, who's in town for his company's annual retreat, so I'm holding down the fort and catching up on my blog reading.

Check out this heartbreaking true obituary (yes, I verified with that was printed last week in the Vallejo (Calif.) Times-Herald. (I found it on Letters From Kamp Krusty, one of my favorite blogs, but if it's already hit Snopes, it's probably coming soon to an inbox near you.)

Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.

I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOODBYE, MOM.

According to Snopes, one of the woman's daughters "was moved to place the notice after reviewing the obituary of a co-worker's father and noting as she read through it how little any of it fit her mother. 'What struck me was how my mother was none of the things I was reading. She was never there for us, she was never good and she left no legacy. So how could I say any of the usual things about her?' said the daughter. ...

"Before agreeing to run the unusual obituary, the Times-Herald took the unusual step of requesting a copy of the death certificate, just to ensure that what was being asked to publish wasn't a hoax. It wasn't: The woman being memorialized had passed away on 7 August 2008."


Ally said...

I received an e-mail with that obituary earlier this week, and my thoughts were (1) wow that's sad and (2) why bother to even print an obituary? You know--if you can't say anything nice, why say anything at all? On the flip side, the author's hurt and anger are clear, and I'm sure this is a sad time as she/he reflects on their loss (and by loss--I mean much more the author's mom's death).

Amanda said...

That's just disturbing! I'd think of SOMETHING nice to say!!

Sallie said...

that is so sad, I sure hope my kids love me and can say at least one nice thing about me when I die. Steven thought it was really funny. And it is, in a crazy way.

Kaitlin said...

i'm lonely in the blogosphere when you don't blog!!!

Anonymous said...

How awful! :-|